Sunday, October 19, 2008
its been a long time since i blogged. who knows, i may not get any readers for this. but at least i want to vent out my thoughts
i wish things could go back to what they were. i wish so hard every day. if only we could all go be back together. i missed those times. i miss you at home. why can't you come back?
i resolve to try my best to get you home, but nagging somewhere deep within me, i am afraid of failure. i don't have support. how now?
but nonetheless, i will still try. as hard as i can to get my life back to how it ought to be.
Speakth at... 3:46 PM
Sunday, November 25, 2007
A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the
barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."
"Why do you say that?" asked the customer. "Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children?
If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things." The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.
Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist." "How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!" "No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long
hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."
"Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me." "Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."
Speakth at... 3:25 PM
Monday, October 15, 2007
confirmation. hopeless, gone. sigh.
Speakth at... 2:09 AM
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
to all those who have been logging on to my blog to check up on me, sorry for the irregular postings. haven't been able to find the mood to actually blog. things have been real tough for me recently. guess with my ever increasing assignments, family crap to handle, things haven't been easy.
but it is times like this tt i am grateful God sent me friends from long ago. friends whom i can depend on in times like this. it is funny that those friendships forged in a time long ago are used to strengthen and assure each other in times like this. times where i share my burdens with those whom i have known. they are definitely no help at all in helping me solve my problems. i mean, these friends of mine are useless in that aspect. but all that matters is that they are willing to listen to me, lend their shoulder when i wanna cry on, hit (though i hope not) when i am feeling frustrated. these are friends.
wanna start out by thanking them individually. the friend whom i have known personally 6 years ago, and has been walking beside me since then (and even before that though i never really accepted him), Jesus aka God. thank you. for you know me best. every time i do something stupid or think of something stupid, you are there to slap me and to point me in the right direction. there are times when i dun listen to you, and i still dun listen to you sometimes, but you've never left me. continue speaking to me. and slap me hard when you deem fit. i will never get mad at you, and i can never get mad at you.
my best buddy and avid swimmer cum anime drawing freak, pei wen aka pee wee. thanks for being a great listening ear. for taking time out that nite when i was possibly at my lowest point in my life. for praying for me and my family, and for just being there for me.
to my tall black bro dutt aka anaconda man, for being the all rational person. making me think things in perspective. for just being there for me all the time, for being the brother i never had, and for being my constant emailing buddy when i have to vent my frustrations to. sorry you have to take my load of crap from time to time. u never noe how much it means to me =D
to shao aka the big guy, though you and i haven't talked for like ass long, and i am still gonna smack you for not telling me and dutt abt larissa, but i know that you've been checkin my blog once in a while. thanks for being my spiritual buddy, and keepin me in ur prayers once a while. we shld chat soon. miss talking with ya, and esp ur nonsense.
to cheryl, thank goodness i was able to chat with you yesterday. it helped to hear your views on it, and it was great that we were able to just talk about anything and everything. i enjoyed myself a lot and am awaiting the time where you're back here in hot ole singapore. =D shall eagerly await our next msn session.
to ryan, though we haven't talked in ages, you were one of the first i told abt my problems, and thanks for hearing me out. i hope ur family is ok. and that you'll continue to work hard for ur degree.
to leen, sorry for not catching up with you for so long. but you've always held a special place in me. thanks for being there when i broke the news about what took place. we shld head out one day. chat, have coffee and juz catch up. its been a while, and online aint the best place for ppl who live in the same country. so said u to the tall black one eh?
to my church friends, thanks for praying for me constantly, and thank God i've grown closer to ya'll recently. esp to glenn, besides rachel, i think you are the only other person who knows me the best in church. the past deeds i've done, the way i think, and also my family situation. thanks for praying for me. =D
last but certainly not least, i wanna thank my one and only gal rach. for being my spiritual spouse, my lover, my other half mind, making me laugh when i can't seem to find reason to at times, for being her silly self, for being direct and for being who she is. words juz can't describe how much i am thankful for you everyday.
recently i haven't been able to smile much. even if i do smile, it is a superficial one. it is friends like this that brings the warmth back to my frozen and darken heart.
Speakth at... 9:40 PM
Thursday, September 20, 2007
just got back from a trying dinner. sometimes i feel that there are some things that people shouldn't say, there are some things that should be said in a different way, there are some things that should be said straight in the face. but obviously what took place earlier did not follow those rules. led to a really awkward time at the dinner table, and even worst, caused 2 people to be in awkward positions, and a third juz sitting on the seat playing video games.
happened to stumble across some of the cards i've received from my friends. made me think back on the past. the many people i've come across, the many people whose lives were intertwined with mine because our paths met. i was glad i was able to meet them, have their lives touched by me and vice versa. only thing is i was unable to hold on to all of them and maintain it. times have come and gone. they will just remain as a memory, to be recalled when i am getting older and graying. are we just made to be friends with some, and to forgo it when the time comes?
i miss those days. days where i was carefree, days where the only things i had to be bothered with were my studies, my fav sports and recreation, the friends i hung out with, the girls i tried to go after, failed but still remained friends with. now it seems like more and more burdens are flung my way. is it coz i am older? is it coz i am more matured, able to think better? is it coz i am now a father of 2 people who can't seem to get along already? why the role reversals? the burdens are weighing me down bit by bit. heavy they are.
but the only answer to all my problems is to look to You. how long shall i rely on my own strength? how long shall i depend upon my own rationale thinking and arguments before they turn out to be not so logical after all? how long shall i continue to allow myself to be swallowed by the sin which i have promised to forsake? are they all burdens? or are they just self imposed?
seems like nowadays my posts are getting darker and darker. i guess it is just a reflection of how my life is like nw. may the lite come soon. i have no idea how long i can hold out. "let there be light" shine upon me.
Speakth at... 9:02 PM
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
i shall not be afraid to voice my opinions, even if it does not sit well with the person i am talking to. i shall not be afraid for i know wat i believe in, and i noe tt what i am saying is well thought through, and is from the one i love. fear shall not overpower me.
Speakth at... 9:33 AM
Thursday, August 30, 2007
is suicide n murder the answer to the qn? whatever gave u those ideas? not like doing either or both will solve problems. sigh. to do one's best, the rest is up to free choice. should one give up? or to fight on? that is the question
Speakth at... 12:10 AM
+ ernest tan
+ attached and in love
+ university student
+ biathlete cum waterboy
+ fun loving
+ exercise freak
+ water polo
+ chatting with friends
+ eating good food
+Harry Potter 7th Book
+Aasics Gel kayano shoes x3