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Thursday, August 31, 2006
boy do i hate being sick. can't exercise, can't really study. sucks. but oh well, at least i stayed home and rest. think the best way to recover oneself is to drink loads and loads of water(kinda like water parading during army eh guys?), forced vomitting, and covering oneself up in a blanket to sweat it out. yeah. that is indeed the best way for me at least.
as i was laying on my bed yesterday, had the luxury of time to think about things that were happening in my life. also found the time to talk to my Father. yes, it has been a long time since i did that.realised that i have been neglecting Him for a long long time. i have already forgotten when was the last time i did real and proper quiet time already. i am sorry Father. please forgive me for what i have done and what i have failed to do.
now i am in school. supposed to be in lecture but couldn't make it so i decided to head to the library so that i can download a file to do my readings. but guess what, the lecturer uploaded the wrong file onto the website. sigh... so now i have to contend with writing stuff for my blog and probably finding books to read for my break time later. tons of readings man i tell ya. so many that i juz can't seem to finish it. sigh.
back to finding books.......... ***and i juz recovered. can't exercise till tmr i guess***
ending off with something i juz read:
******His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying
to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby
bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.
There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and
struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have
been a slow and terrifying death.
The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings
An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father
of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.
"I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life."
"No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied waving
off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the
family hovel.
"Is that your son?" the nobleman asked.
"Yes," the farmer replied proudly.
"I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son
will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a
man we both will be proud of." And that he did.
Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from
St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known
throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of
Penicillin.
Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken
with pneumonia.
What saved his life this time? Penicillin.
The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son's name?
Sir Winston Churchill.
Someone once said: What goes around comes around.
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Sing like nobody's listening.
Live like it's Heaven on Earth.
May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.*****
Speakth at... 9:20 AM
Friday, August 25, 2006
something that i have wanted to blog about but never really gotten down to it. well, it was a debate within myself and between leanna and i regarding the topic of gentlemeness. well, i have to admit, i should be the last person anyone would consider a gentleman. well, i guess this is because i generally do not like to go out of my way to do things for others, be it girl or guy, and i definitely definitely dislike carrying bags for women. urgh! i shall talk about two things i do not like to do and why am i not a gentlemen. one is fetching people to places that are out of the way. two is carrying bags for women.
shall start off with carrying bags for women. this is to all women who whine and complain about the heavy bags they carry with the hope that men will take to their hint and carry their bag for you. first of all, are you all handicapped? i mean you have two working hands and feet right? so why can't you carry it yourself? irregardless of how heavy it is, do not like complain about it and ask a guy to carry it for you. if a guy wants to carry it for ya, good for ya. but if not, then please quit whining. it is seriously, to me at least, a big pain to my ears. i will help if you are like physically handicapped, or you are an old elderly person whose muscles have already degenerated to the state where they tired out with carrying a 2kg bag for 5 seconds. people who do not fall under this category, please for pete's sake dun expect others to carry it for ya. unless the person or group you are with is in a big rush, then go ahead and impose ur belongings on them. seriously, i can't stand it when i go out and see guys carrying their girlfriend's bag. its like their girlfriend is weak, or their pretty hands would be disfigured from carrying it. ok, i have to admit, i was part of that group before, but on hindsight, it was really stupid of me for doing it.
another thing is like driving people arnd. i heard from one of my friend that he was begged from another person to fetch her home. furthermore, it was like on the other side of singapore. i mean come on, at that time, the public transport was still operational, it was the peak hour somemore. so are you telling me that taking public transport would cause ur make up to slip off? or is it that your pretty body can't take public transport? if it is out of the way, it is out of the way, dun beg and use ur feminine weakness to plead. can't stand it when women play their weakness to men in the hope that men will do things that benefit them. women ask for equality, then please show that you have some sense of equality. u want us to be fair, then be fair to us men rather then saying things that degrad men and makes use of us when it is to your benefit.
all of the above are opinions of my own and they are in no way directed to any specific persons. it is juz what i feel in general throughout my life and it is something i wish to get off my chest. like i said before, i am no gentleman. i am a nice guy, but not a gentleman. if you aren't too happy abt what i said, u are free to comment in my tag board, and if i feel like it, i will reply. if i feel like it.....
Speakth at... 11:43 PM
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
juz got home from a nite where i made myself go hoarse from singing with a bunch of crazy people. yes! they are my ever adorable, ever crazy and forever hogging the microphone and camera OG Tailwind! haha, yes it was good fun watching everyone singing their hearts out, especially to favourites like 'It's My Life' by Bon Jovi, and 'Dancing Queen' i think by ABBA. juz too bad Bobz couldn't join us today. i'll bet he'll roll over in laughter at the sight of us dancing his rendition of Dancing Queen. i do hope that more of such fun stuff will keep happening though school is starting. maybe not at such frequency, but at least we still are able to let our hair down in the midst of school.
a side note, hope pee will be able to get the timings for me for the swimming lesson thing. then i can get back to HA with regard to my availability. PEE! hurry!! poor man here needs job to feed his insurance and his poor stomach.
another thing, sorry leen for not being able to go with u to velvet. really wanna see whats all the hype abt that place. but also seeing that i am broke! i dun think i can afford the cab fare back... sigh... money please fall from the sky. or maybe i should find a sugar mommy.... yeah, like that will ever happen.... :S
Speakth at... 12:51 AM
Monday, August 21, 2006
think i have bitched about this before, but i will still do it again. am feeling far from my Father. haven't been talking to Him much. i feel so busy doing things that i like that i can't seem to find time to juz sit or lie down, close my eyes, and feel us having a normal conversation like how we used to do. i miss those times when even when i do not consciously pray, i can still feel Him next to me. i know that He wants to draw near to me, and it is me resisting. i dunno why is it that i am resisting. am i ashamed about something? do i resent my faith that much? do i resent my Father that much? or do i resent myself the most? i dunno. anyway, got to know of this video from a pastor from my church. he cried whereas i didn't. dunno if it is callousness on my part. but i was filled with admiration for the guy's dad, and even greater admiration for the main character. not many of us will be able to be as happy as this chap. i personally feel that although he doesn't have much, he has almost everything that is required for a happy life on earth, if you get my drift. kinda oxymoronic i noe. sorry.
suddenly feel so bogged down by school. so many readings that needs to be done. i mean i dun wish to like be one week in advance for my readings, but at least stay afloat on my readings. well, it juz means that i have to read loads more, since i am now reading LOTR, the Fellowship of the Ring, and Andrew juz got me, Wai Kit, and Hui Xing a reading to do for our biweekly fellowship. readings galore i tell you. on top of that, i have to start getting back to doing my QT religiously. haven been doing it as much as i would like, or as much as my Father would like, or as much as my devotional buddy Paul would like. Sorry to those i have mentioned above. well, will take things one step at a time. hope my Father will forgive me.
yesterday i had a long conversation with C. babe, hope things will turn out rite for ya. shan't divule more online but will juz repeat what i said on the phone yesterday. make ur choice and choose to live with the consequences. you and i are dead sure that the consequences will cause u to be sad one way or another. but it is ultimately up to you to choose the lesser of two evils. and i will be there for ya be it good or bad, and this isn't juz limited to C. but to all my friends.
to an, sorry things have to turn out this way. i dunno if what i read on ur blog is interpreted correctly, but u stay strong babe. i am sorry but i dunno what else to say to you other then this.
seems like more sad things to come eh? i am like $1500 poorer now. yeah, juz paid for my plane tickets to NZ. not that i am terribly sad that i am that much poorer, but juz that i do not have money to do things that i would generally like to do, like go to a cafe, get a cup of coffee and read a good solid book. i know, that it doesn't cost much, but i am THAT poor ok... sigh... can't wait for money to fall from the sky. sighz.
well, on a happier note, have started training for my biathlon since the start of last week. though i still suck at running (and i dun think i will ever not suck at it), i can see myself improving progressively. hope that one day i will be able to run sub 50 for a 10km distance. and i also hope for next year's sing bi, will be able to manage a 1hr 20min. these are juz standards i wanna meet.
well, thats all for now. am gonna go back to reading my school stuff.... sianz......
Speakth at... 9:47 AM
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
man was "Hard Candy" one of the most thought provoking and disgusting shows i've watched thus far. i do not agree with those that said this show's gory. in fact, i feel that the "Saw" series is gorier, though i bet there are other's out there even gorier. anyway, thanks cass for telling me about the show. i realli enjoyed it, save for the fact when the lead actress did something to the lead actor which will make all and i mean ALL males whether you are straight or homo cringe. if you wanna know what happened, go catch it. but a small hint, something was done that i pray will not happen to any of the men i know. it is absolutely disgusting.
actually watched the show with my 'sis' serene today. yeah, its been a looooong time since i last chatted with her or gone out with her. actually, how we actually got closer together was by chance. it was all thanks to an sms from her (at that time i only had like a small recollection of who she was) asking me if i was with bernard from my platoon, coz his mother was looking for him. at that time i was asleep, though the reason i can't remember. when i saw the msg, which was a couple of hours later, i called her to find out if bernard was found. so after that we began chatting and found out that we could talk to each other. so thereafter, she became my 'sister' coz she was born 10 days after me and bear the same surname as me. haha, kinda lame i know, but she really is a nice gal. happy for her that she found such a nice guy in george as her boyfriend. hope he treats her well. not that i will do anything to you dun worry. hah!
after the movie with serene (and she scolded me for asking her to watch such a sick movie with her, well, not my fault sis, u gotta blame my fren cass for telling me to watch it. but u can't deny that it is a good show. disgusting but nice), we went for coffee and chatted a bit before i went to meet my family and uncles and aunties for dinner.
anyway, thanks uncle david for the wonderful dinner. really appreciate the dinner. you actually didn't have to do it but you did and i am really thankful for it. i really hope that you and aunty cat can join us in september. and may you strike 4D again! haha! but u wun have to treat us the next time. i know how difficult it is to earn money. keep it for yourself ok?
well, now i am gonna continue reading my book. currently i am onto the fellowship of the ring, under the Lord of the Rings Series. and shao, i totally agree with you. digital fortress sucked to the core. i still think out of all of Dan Brown's books. none of them came close to the story of Angels and Demons. out of all the 4, i enjoyed that one the best. even the Da Vinci Code didn't come close in terms of entertainment value.
sighz, when school starts, i dun think i can afford as much time reading the books that i enjoy reading. whats more i am taking sociology of pop culture and it is taken by Tolentino, who gives readings like his is the only module we are taking. his readings are the thickness of my Bible man! sighz. another shitty semester for me again.
Speakth at... 11:07 PM
Monday, August 14, 2006
kinda know this is overdue. but hey, i have been rather tired from the past week's events. first of all, there was o week. which i must say is very very tiring. then there was church worship practice and it can get quite tiring at times when the musicians have to settle some of their technical issues and me this music illiterate juz sitting around doing nothing.
first and foremost i must say that my OG from Arts O week was stupendous!!! honestly i believe that my OG deserved the title the Best OG from my house. what was better was that our House got the best house award. the credit to this belongs to every single person in the house. seriously. i am starting to wonder about what wen hui. he was outwardly pondering, "if our house was the best house in the camp, and our OG is the best in the house, does it make our OG the best OG in arts camp?" well, i believe that taking it that way, one might be lead to believe we are the best OG in Arts o week. but i think that every single OG is good in their own special and unique way. but i am not complaining about my OG. they are seriously one heck of a bunch of people.
however, my only regret during this o week was that some people were inevitably left out of the group's hyperactivity. people like christine, rachel, pei shan, melissa etc. i juz feel helpless that i wasn't able to make them feel like part of the group. to some extent i feel that i have done my best already, but another part of me feels like i could have done more in my capacity as an aogl. i dunno. juz a feeling of helplessness.
however on a happier note, i am glad that we had as much fun has we had. camera whoring. i mean i have never met a bunch of camera whores as my OG. especially the last day, all of us were juz jumping at EVERY single opportunity to take pictures. it was crazy man. think we chalked up close to 300MB worth of pictures within the short span of time. i think it is a lot. we also had some really nice videos that are up on youtube. i personally find it kinda nice because it brings back some cool memories. there are 3 links that i will put up at the end of my post. feel free to view it.
yesterday i went to a wake. one of my close friends' mother passed away recently. sorry but i can't mention his name coz he wants to keep it low profile for the time being. well, personally i feel sad for him. first of all, he is my age, and he lost his dad at a very young age. now he has to deal with another loss in his family and it is his mum. what is more, he is the sole male of the family. i do not know how will he be able to carry on. when i talked to him yesterday with C, he seemed ok. somehow he has accepted the fact that probably his mother leaving was a form of release from the pain and suffering she was going through the past 5 years. in a way it was good that he thought that way, but i am juz afraid that he is putting on a brave front. bro, juz so you know, if there is anything you need, do let me know, i will do everything in my power to help you out ok? and if you are really feeling sad, do let it out. nothing is worst then harbouring all the sadness inside of yourself. it will juz kill ya in the end.
well, i am going off now. gonna email my pastor probably tonight regarding his sermons that i do not really think is right. juz wanna get it off my chest. sighz, so many things i wanna blog about, so little time.
p.s. i think one of the gals in the video/my og is cute.... but sigh, dunno lah, am in a "i dun wanna settle down state yet" FREEDOM! is the way to go.....
videos:
video1
video2
video3
Speakth at... 2:15 PM
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
its now 3am in the morning and i am still up blogging.... ;S well, i guess i am still up coz of the adrenalin that i am living off. i am really really proud of the OG that Leanna has come up with. she has single handedly brought the OG to its current rara-ness. good job babe. i do hope that tailwind will be able to maintain the bonds of friendship all the way till the end of their university education, and if possible, beyond that. right now i juz hope that i will be able to blend in well with them. somehow i feel that i am not as close to most of them as i would want to be. hope that will change in time to come. signing off now. leanna's heavy head is on my lap. gonna go off and chat with the og members, while hearing james' crap. hope the crap doesn't get too absurd that it sounds unbelievable.
Speakth at... 3:08 AM
Sunday, August 06, 2006
damn, i feel so bad. whole body feels sick. having a headache, feeling woozy, have a cough. wats worse is i din feel so well on monday, had a throat problem, but yet still continued to shout for the sake of o week. shit! now i regret it. can't even sing now. dunno how am i gonna survive till the end of o week man!.... sighz.
Speakth at... 5:17 PM
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
dunno y, but i feel as though i am not as psyched up for o week as i thought i'd be. i mean in the past i would go gaga over all the activities, but now i feel as though i am not that crazy already. i really can't put my finger on it. where has my alter ego gone to? am starting to have doubts in my capabilities in being an aogl. i juz hope that i will be able to find back my alter ego before o week starts. in the meantime, it is back to reading the Bible, digital fortress and after that, the fellowship of the ring. i think it is such a waste, there are so many good books out there for my reading pleasure, but i juz dun read fast enough to enjoy all of them.
come to think of it, guess one of the qualities i would like in my to-be partner is a love for books. i dunno about others but i find gals who read, doesn't really matter the genre as long as the person has a liking for the storyline, very attractive. and whats more is the ability to give their opinions about the story, their likes and dislikes about the story. maybe it is juz me, but i find gals who sit down at a cafe and read much much more attractive then a gal that goes clubbing every now and then. leanna was one such babe who had a big appetite for reading, juz a pity we had to end it.
speaking of which, i know that there has been some rumors going around that leanna's cheating escapade on me caused our breakup. please do not think that way. whoever started this speculation please stop it now. it is not fair to her coz the two of us broke up due to differences in our opinions towards many things. we broke up becoz of a mutual agreement to break up. not becoz she cheated on me. it is a lie to say so coz she really is a nice gal, and cheating on her bf would be the last thing she would do. i would know coz i am her ex bf. and her previous ex bfs would be able to atest to it coz we know her better then most of you out there. i would like to say it again, she did not cheat on me. it is a really really badly thought up rumor. if she really did cheat on me i would say it upfront. but the fact is she didn't. so stop saying things that are potentially harmful to the well-being of others.
thats all i have to say for now.
Speakth at... 9:44 PM
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
well, dunno how to start off on what i wanna say, got so many things that i wanna blog about, but i do not wanna make it too long too. but in the end it will end up as a long blog.
for starters, having a cold war at home rite now. not between me or any of my family members, but between my mum and dad. i know it is normal for couples to squabble, but its kinda sucky that the frequency seems to be increasing. and it sucks. now the both of them do not even talk to each other. sighz. what am i to do? the worst part is my brother appears nonchalant about the going-ons at home. not that i can blame him. guess he has been brought up to be self centred and stuff.
in the past when i go thru such troubles, i would always turn to my Father and talk to Him and ask Him for help. even then i feel that it is only when i am in trouble that i turn to Him. when things are going ok i hardly talk to Him. kinda regarding Him as a person that can work miracles. not that He can't work miracles, but the reason i turn to Him makes me feel bad. i would wanna turn to Him in times of need and in times of happiness. but so far i have failed so many times. over and over again. this time, it feels that if i turn to Him and talk to Him about my troubles, i have no doubt that He will listen and if it is in His will, He would change things to suit my need. but i am only afraid that if things do not turn out the way i want, then i would totally neglect and forget and not believe in His existence already. that really sucks. guess this is one demon i have to conquer, and i can't do it alone. i need people who have such strong unwavering faith in our Father to bring me back to Him. its true i guess, a Christian never remains stagnant in his/her faith. you either go up or go down. now is the time i am going down. help me Father.
on a slightly happier note, school's starting soon. that means i will be able to focus my time on the happier/sadder stuff depending on what kinda perspective i take. studies, friends, my training. i really hope to pull up my CAP score. hope to spend more time with my friends, be able to get back my fitness to what it was before i started work. and i do hope to date some nice gals. i am not being desperate here. i honestly see no wrong or an act of desperation in dating women. there are some really nice gals out there that i noe. i hope to get to know them better. and if it is in my Father's will for my life, may she be the one. right now, i have no wish at all to commit to any relationship, i am juz waiting for my Father to lead us to each other. in His time. i know i said in my post before that i will blog about my ideal woman, but i guess now's not the time to do so. coz i have no one set of ideals that i am looking for. maybe when i am sure of what i want then i'll blog about it.
to end off, i would like to say something that has been on my mind for some time. its kinda frustrating for me to some extent. maybe some of you can shed some light on it. i was reading scripture on sunday. and before i read it, i went to ask Andrew what was the verses for that day. after telling me, he told me i can't wear my cap up to the pulpit. in my heart i was thinking, is there anything wrong with wearing a cap? i mean i have been getting stares from my church congregation when i go to church in my beach bum attire. i wear berms, sleeveless shirts, slippers and a cap. i even get stares when i juz wear a cap. honestly is there like anything wrong? coz i don't see any wrong in my dressing. i argue it in this way, when i go to church, all i wanna do is to feel my Father near me. not that i don't everyday, though i don't on some, but my heart is to seek God. now the question is does it really matter what i wear or how i dress? i have been asking myself something all this time, if a beggar who hasn't showered all this time entered any of our churches, would we as followers of Christ reject this man becoz he/she isn't in a proper dress code or allow the beggar to come in coz we wanna extend our love to him/her. i know i have juz made a mountain outta a molehill. but i was kinda extrapolating on what i feel. another thing is, why can't i wear ear rings/studs when i am worshipping on stage? i have gotten an answer before and it was not to stumble people. i mean come on, i will stumble those who haven believe if i go around screwing gals but still say i am a christian. i will stumble others if i keep getting drunk and still say i am a christian. i will stumble others if i murder people or keep lying and still say i am a devout christian. but God has not explicitly said that we are to dress in a certain way(correct me if i am wrong) while worshiping/meeting Him, or not to have certain bling bling coz it is associated with gangsterism or deviance. to me, what matters is the heart. someone please point me out if i am wrong.
Speakth at... 9:03 PM
+ ernest tan
+ singaporean
+ gemini
+ rat
+ attached and in love
+ university student
+ biathlete cum waterboy
+ sporty
+ fun loving
+ exercise freak
+ friendly
+ impatient
+ Christian
+ water polo
+ swimming
+ running
+ chatting with friends
+ eating good food
+Road Bike
+Harry Potter 7th Book
+Aasics Gel kayano shoes x3