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Saturday, March 31, 2007
been getting pretty tired these days. i've actually stopped my crazy idea of running 30km a week. this week, i think i can only manage 10km. sigh. i am really a slob.
for the past two weeks, i've been trying my best to keep up with the deadlines looming. come monday, all my work will be submitted, and i do not need to worry about it no more. now, i am done with writing all my papers. all i need to do is edit them and make sure it flows, plus i should try to reduce the amount of grammatical mistakes. hope that i can get a good grade for my soci papers. i have never done well for soci before. EVER! but i do enjoy studying it. i guess i am a lil like prof paulin eh? never did well. diff is she finally understood things, and up till now i dunno whether i regret my choice to major in soci or not.
btw, for this part, i'd like to thank YOU babe, for reminding me about my resolution to do honors. i guess for some time i have sorta given up on the idea becoz of my abysmal grades. i still do wanna do honors. guess i have to work extra hard for the next 3 sems. if i want it really badly, i guess i can do it. wait... it should be i WILL do it. so therefore, thanks once again babe. i know u'll read this post as u always do. =)
told myself i will take a break on wed. i desperately need it. i feel as though i am burning out. hope to juz sit back and chill. God knows how MUCH i am looking forward to wed. then come thur onwards, i will charge towards my exams. i need the endurance and the perseverance and all those other things that i have been telling these kids. if i used to be able to pull thru, there shouldn't be a reason y i'll nt make it. JUZ DO IT! heh.
and its nice to have intellectual intercourse with an open minded friend like u Shai. u have no idea hw much i enjoy talking to u abt our differing faiths. bcoz u r so well read in it, yet so willing to be open at the same time. i am never afraid of speaking my mind because i noe that as long as i justify my reasons arnd u, there's no reason for u to be cheesed off at me. so thanks for the eye opening msn chat earlier. though we missed each other by 2 yrs in JC, but the Big Man up there enabled us to meet up in NUS, and it is my honor and blessing to have known u. brudders and sistas 4eva man! hah!
ok, enough nonsense. will have to go and write my FINAL report for the week for Sports Sch. i said it countless times before, and i will say it again. I HATE WRITING REPORTS!!! it is probably the only aspect of my job that i HATE! but it is a necessary evil. sigh. now my only dream is..... get the facils to write the reports... now THAT is something i am SOOOOO looking forward to. it is a dream... but i am allowed to dream aren't i?
Speakth at... 8:44 PM
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
why do people get married?
not for love
but for someone to be a witness to their lives
and for yourself to witness theirs
that is the reason why people get married so you will have a contract with someone to be there for you...always...
Speakth at... 10:50 PM
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
damn i do hate last minute work. i never liked it. because of all the last minute shit that comes with poor planning, group project mates with differing timetables that led to many things can't be done asap. sigh. because of this nonsense, i haven't been able to run for 3 days straight. shit! i am feeling lethargic already!!! sigh.... did i say that i hated last minute work???
and i just can't wait for 2nd of April to come. once it comes, i'll take a whole day break on the 4th of april (Since i have school on the 3rd) to rest up. and starting on the 5th, i'll go all out to study for my exams. I MUST DO WELL!!!! RWAR!!!
anyway, i'm quite worried for Pee's poly application. i do hope he gets back to NYP.
AND THIS TUTORIAL IS SO SO SO SO BORING!!! I'M BORED TO TEARS..... *SOBZ*
Speakth at... 11:12 AM
Sunday, March 25, 2007
never knew sunrises were that beautiful. i never knew that sunrises were so quick. but most importantly, the sunrise is probably the one thing that makes the day worth living for. because it is the thing that signifies the start of a brand new day. whatever crap that has gone on the day before, it is all erased with a brand new day. now i juz need someone to watch e sunrise with for the rest of my life.
Speakth at... 10:00 PM
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
make me dumb so i can speak through Your mouth. make me deaf so i can hear through Your ears. make me blind so i can see through Your eyes. make me stupid so i can think like You. kill my heart so that i can use Yours. i wanna think as You think. feel as You feel. speak as You speak. love as You love. i want to be like You.... but i'm not. all i ask is that i be less of myself and more of You as each day passes by. i be the lamp and You be the light.
another one of my nonsensical ramblings to start my crazy day off. papers to write. IPPT to train for. and i wanna get my $400 for IPPT. GOLD! if i can that is......The True You
You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more open with you.
With respect to money, you spend as little as possible.
You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others.
The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort.
You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.
When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you will search and search until you find your perfect match.
Speakth at... 10:04 AM
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
it is funny how i have a love-hate relationship with my past mistakes. on one hand, i love it because it defines who i am, and from the mistakes of the past, i know what NOT to do anymore lest i wish to fall back down the same dark road. but on the other hand, past mistakes have this ability to catch up with you, and to make you feel like crap. it scares you and makes you doubt yourself and abilities. it makes your moral conscience drop down to ground zero, and the past just keeps playing back. you feel as though you'll never be able to right that particular wrong.
well, i guess in a way it is true. we are NEVER able to right a wrong committed in the past. no matter what we do, the past is gone. the only thing i can ever do is to be resolved to the fact that i should the same circumstances happen again, i will have to call on every ounce of my willpower to not fall into those same temptations.
now comes the biggest question, am i able to form that resolve? i am human aren't i? i am weak aren't i? why not accept it? but it is in my weakness that His strength and power is revealed. i shall be happy that i am a weak human, with low morals and easily tempted. so that when i overcome those periods of trials and tribulations, let my mouth not boast of my own success, but all glory be His. for He is good, and i can only be good thanks to He who loves me most.
Speakth at... 8:01 AM
Saturday, March 17, 2007
today, i've juz completed what i would consider one of the biggest hurdles of my 2nd year in nus, and that is the Singapore Biathlon. i think i enjoyed this year's race more then last year because this year, i felt that my timing was much better, and mentally, i was more determined to do well as compared to last year. so i guess that was the major difference. my timing isn't fantastic. there are people out there whose timings are way better then mine. but i am happy for my timing. with this result, i think i am now in the right state of mind to pull my CAP score higher then it's current abysmal level. i mean i do not intend to go honours already. but if i do wanna grad, at least i wanna grad with a merit. hope i do not lose this passion to do better then i set out to do. and i believe that my passion for endurance sports will last since now there are people who are willing to trod this path with me too. =)
Speakth at... 11:20 PM
Thursday, March 15, 2007
why are the two of you acting like children? i mean come on. you already are adults. can't you settle it like adults? what are you trying to prove by each trying to have your own way, without even considering what the other party wants? honestly, the two of you have BIG flaws. One of you talk too much and refuse to listen to the other party. The other doesn't like to talk and prefers to keep matters to yourself. How do you expect me to step in when the two of you aren't even attempting to help yourselves? IT SUCKS!!!!! grow up!!! i'm kind of tired from being the mediator between the two of you!
Speakth at... 11:05 PM
Monday, March 12, 2007
since i am short on time, but i'd like to religiously blog, i shall keep it short and sweet.
when you have a couple who are going out seriously, one is a butch (a female who has assumed a male role with the haircut and suff), the other is a transvestite (male who dresses and acts like a female), is that a homosexual or heterosexual relationship.
what are your views? haha.... i like to screw with people's minds... hee
Speakth at... 9:52 PM
Sunday, March 11, 2007
this will be a short post. i can't believe that i'd see the day i meet a carbon copy of myself in a female. it is so freaky. i'm juz glad we met, and i'll thrilled at the prospect of our potential friendship growing. cheerz
Speakth at... 12:55 AM
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
was tired from doing my reports or school work. so i decided to do some photoshopping to one of my narcissistic pics. sigh.... got more stuff to do as the days go by. to be honest, i enjoy training students then writing reports. but oh well, these are necessary evils. :(
Speakth at... 8:41 PM
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
i never knew how difficult it was to feel. in the past, i never had problems knowing who i like. but now, i dun even think i have the capacity to like anyone anymore. i dunno if it is some kind of psychological effect or fear i have of relationships, or is it because i juz am not interested in getting into a relationship no more. the weirdest thing is that right now, i have no feelings watsoever for anyone of my female companions. is there something wrong? i mean in the past, i would have some form of superficial feelings for some of them. i would even ask them out juz to find out if there was some thing that could spark of an interest between us. but right now, i am juz so ambivalent about the whole thing. i no longer seem interested in dating no more. sigh. IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME??? or are my expectations for a life partner too high. or is it a bad thing that i am looking for someone whom i want to spend the rest of my life with? am i shunting aside the many potential women i know?
sometimes i feel that it is because i am adament about finding a christian girl that is causing me to be so picky about the women i am willing to date. some of my friends even say that i am very choosy, and i shouldn't be so. but isn't this a lifetime issue? shouldn't we place more clout on it? thats what i always think. as for my girl, i guess it could be a time of testing for me, that my dearest Father is putting me through. that He wants to be sure He is at the center of my life. right now, that's not happening. i should let Him be the center eh?
well, right now i juz wanna find back the feeling of wanting to date again. i mean i necessarily want to get into a serious relationship right now, but at least i feel the desire to want to go out. i feel that i lack a social life. my time is either spent working at HATC or at home or training for my biathlon races or for my academic interest. all those things are vying for my time.
p.s. to those i use to date, dun worry. you are not the cause of my current state. it is juz one of the quirks that i have. what to do, i am weird. heh.
Speakth at... 11:28 PM
+ ernest tan
+ singaporean
+ gemini
+ rat
+ attached and in love
+ university student
+ biathlete cum waterboy
+ sporty
+ fun loving
+ exercise freak
+ friendly
+ impatient
+ Christian
+ water polo
+ swimming
+ running
+ chatting with friends
+ eating good food
+Road Bike
+Harry Potter 7th Book
+Aasics Gel kayano shoes x3