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Tuesday, October 31, 2006
ouch it hurts!
Speakth at... 11:32 PM
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
work is kinda getting to me. sigh... papers to complete. think i bitched about this so i have decided not to blog about it. if i haven't i suppose you can ask any other NUS student and they will tell you that during this time of the year or sem, it is the most stressful coz all the deadlines fall arnd this time. shucks!
well, on a good note, i have time on the weekends to do my papers coz i dun have worship practice or worship duty. that means i have to go back to school to complete my soci of pop culture paper after sunday service. my goodness! why am i still onto the topic of my papers... shall move on to something else
today went down to gan eng seng sec sch to do a program on dining and etiqette(think my spelling is realli bad). well, i din do the prog, the full timer did the teaching. all i did was stand arnd and maintained the status quo, at the same time stoned till kingdom comes. well, at least lunch was provided for and it was western. i can't complain there. i mean i saved money on that. but in the end, i went to holland v and spent money there at starbucks. well, now i have found another reason to go there but it shall be between me and God. :) anyway, back to gesss, i really wanted to slap the male teacher there. i mean bloody hell! i have never met a more arrogant teacher in my entire life! one incident which made me come a hair's width to smacking him was this. he wanted to give the extra packets of food to his colleagues and asked me... well, he more of requested that the food be given to the staff then asked... but you prob get the point. the i replied saying something along the lines of "it should be no problem, but let me inform the coach(he's the overall in charge) and see what he has to say. FREAKING HELL! he gave me the "WTF face". its like he owns the food and he thinks nothing of me. i mean come on man, i have to at least tell the guy in charge rite? CHAIN OF COMMAND... haven u heard of it from the army? or maybe ur fat ass din get the opportunity to serve ur nation in this manner? (this is not intended to demean people who are on the chubby side, but i am juz getting at this fool of a took in any ways necessary. please do nt get offended). arse! you were lucky i was informed to hold my tongue in check, and act professionally. otherwise, i will make a hell lot of fuss till ur ass is whooped by the principal... PIG!
well, that felt good.... after letting off some steam, it feels good. hope he reads it... lemme at him! anyway, think i am majorly screwed for the exams...i can only rely on my lord's saving grace. i am honestly not too worried abt doing too well. i mean if i do well then ok, its great. but if i dun do well, then i'll juz regard it that i am not cut out for the university system. probably should've chosen the poly path back then.
shall hit the sack now. sigh.... slpy... zzzZZzzzZZzz
Speakth at... 10:53 PM
Saturday, October 21, 2006
realised that there is something that i truly miss doing. ever since i came to uni and got bogged down by all the schoolwork, i have begun to do less and less of it. that is talking with friends even though it is only for a short while. not in a group coz i dun think it is a good thing, i mean you gotta spread out your attention and focus if its in a group. but rather one on one.
juz saw yuxuan juz before i went for my soci of tourism (which i din really pay attention to) lecture. it was great, i mean juz sitting there, talking about who we have lost contact with, the increasing prominscuity of the students in our alma mater, our plans for the future, our struggles with sch etc. even if it was only for a measely 15 min or so. but i felt it was like good, leisurely productive time spent, rather then being cooped up either in the library or at home, rushing to meet deadlines that always appear to draw closer.
then i met brandon on the way to the bus stop to head to church for cell. i haven seen that dude in a long time since school started. and boy has he grown fat (not that i haven grown fat too). and we were juz talking about running. and i was feeling kinda guilty about my lack of participation in biathlon because of the intensity of my term paper requirements and how the deadlines are one after the other. i really want to go for training. i miss swimming, i miss running, i miss sweating out all the stress and problems, but yet i am in bondage with my work, which i know that if i dun put in my due work, i can forget about ever staying on in uni. but brandon is doing fine.. i mean he muz be, otherwise he wouldn't be that prosperous rite? haha, no offence bro.... and btw, i think ur pudgy fren can run faster then the two of us combined... haha....
its funny how in the span of 3 hours, which seriously felt like one after the other, i met jimmy on the bus on the way to holland v, where my church is at. we were juz talking about how forgetful he is, hw fun those army times were, comparing whether his memory is better or mine is better (i think i win hands down there.... haha) and i find it intriging that he is a people observer... something like me, as in we like to analyse people and reason the ways people behave and y they think the way they think... haha something that i thought i was the only one boliao enough to do...
i guess its amazing how God has brought to mind how people mean to me, i mean i always felt, and especially recently, so far and cut off from people that i know. i think dutt can attest to that coz he was also rambling to me. may i never draw far from those whom i hold dear.
Speakth at... 4:34 PM
Thursday, October 19, 2006
this will be short... juz so that my blogging engine will continue. if not i will turn rusty.
papers to hand in.... argh! tonnes of them. can't wait for the time when i dun need to hand in any more papers. that way i can concentrate on studying for my exams, and hopefully full up my abysmal cap. may God's grace be with me. :)
haven been a good boy. God knows what i have done. well... need to do some reflection, and a lil more devoted quiet time, rather then the wham bang thank you mam kind. i know its not good, but sometimes, i juz get so drowsy that it ends up too fast too furious... more like i am fast and He is furious. :S
anyway, can't wait to fly... not on a plane, but on maybe a parachute or paraglider or bungee... NZ NZ NZ NZ NZ NZ!!! muahaha... can't wait... who knows, it could be my home when i intend to migrate there after 5 years of working in this dirthole... :P
time flies, when we are having fun... facil is so fun, when the kids are fun... if not, argh! juz wanna kill them. i hope i can forget the incident, something that really pissed me off, something thats gotta do with religious behaviour... Muslims... can't believe that they could do something to their own brother.... especially during Ramadan... the non-Muslims weren't any better.... makes me wanna slap them silly... pui!!! stupid kidz.... FORGET IT ERNEST! its not worth remembering....
and stupid gay 15 year old kid.... i aint gay, so pls dun try to hit on me... stupid prick! go look for guys who are interested in guys... i am interested in gals... if onli gals showed as much interest in me as did this gay dude... sigh... oh well... at least the ppl today were nice... clementi woods... hope you guys dun end up with too much problems... will keep ya in my prayers... :)
ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZz
Speakth at... 10:49 PM
Sunday, October 08, 2006
just realised that i haven been blogging properly since some time already. guess i miss the 'lor soh' persona of mine. well, now that he is back, its time to get down to business.
school... haha, well, hmm, erm.... its bad... coz last week was the week after the term break and i din feel like doing much work. i mean i sorta gave up religiously reading the assigned readings coz i wanted to do things on my own pace. so after the mid term, i have decided to do wat i wanna do, and study wat i wanna study (but still in line with the module). hopefully this will help. i mean i am doing things that interest me rather than wat is told to me. juz hope that my results wun fall. i mean its bad already. how much worst can it get? dun think i should say it too soon. sigh. wat a sucky life i lead. to follow or not to follow. if i dun follow, who knows the consequences that awaits me. kinda like us singaporeans. listen to the gov and things will turn out smoothly. but go off the beaten track and two destinations await you. one of complete failure, or greater success. shall risk it all and leave everything in the hands of God.
which brings me to another point abt my wonderful Lord. i am sad that i am unable to live a life that comes even close to what He lived when he was here. comparing Him with me, i am worst then an ant. insignificant. but then he has taught and shown me that as long as i trust Him, no matter how many times i have fallen, He will always help me up. when there are times when i can't carry on, He will set me on Him and he will bear the burden. there will doubtless be times when He will hide away so to test me in faith. i have been tested. times i failed, times i shined. i still fail in many areas. but in my weakness, there His strength shall show.
for those who dunno, i had gone thru some shitty times. family side din look too good on one point. i felt so down, that i gave up. in a last ditch effort, i juz told God to take control. i said i have tried everything in my power to make it better. but by my own strength i accomplished nothing. so then i juz surrender everything to Him. asking Him to make it better, but not enforcing it. i juz allowed His will be done. good thing is, things seem to be looking good. i know that it wun last. i know that problems will still arise in time to come. i know that no matter how happy days come, it will still lead back to sad. but i shall treasure the happy ones, and allow my being to be a vessel for His work. that much i can do. now i can only hope that my family will come to know of Him. right now i am happy that my brother is attending church. City Harvest. i know some people have misgivings abt that place. i been to their services and i liked it, but din feel that it suits me. but at least my brother is there, closer to knowing abt christ then he was. i am hoping that he isn't there bcoz of some chick or coz of his friends. to me, its kinda missing the point. i can onli hope in faith that he will love my Lord.
the next thing is my parents. i can onli pray that in due time they would go back to God. not as a God that grants their wishes of wealth, or a problem free life, or their human desires, but as a God who desires a relationship with them. my dream is that we can come together as a family every nite before we head off to our rooms to pray for each other. to allow God to be among us, leading us in our lives day in day out. that He be first, not as a condition.
leanna is going thru some tough times now. i hope she is ok. i mean i know some of the problems she is going through, things that i can't talk abt here. but then i hope she doesnt give up. coz i feel the saddest thing is for a person to give up on hope.
i dunno wat happened to glenn. i have never seen him weep like today before. i mean i do weep in church. it isn't an uncommon sight. but today gave me a different feeling. hope he is ok.
hope the haze clears. so that i can get on with my own self training. dun think i will be training with the school team till next semester coz i can't bring myself to train when there is no competition. juz wanna keep my fitness there. sigh... growing fat already. it sucks. FAT FAT!!!! and now i sound like a himbo... sigh....
Speakth at... 11:39 PM
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
i feel so slack. i dun feel like doing anything. i juz wanna eat and sleep and slack and slack.. live like a king. onli thing is i noe that it will be hard coz i need money. sigh.... oh well.... onli time i will not need to worry abt things is when i see my Father in heaven. even then, who noes if he would wan such a slacker like me. haha
anyway, would like to end off with this quote
"i think gals who ask guys out on dates are sexy"
its juz an opinion of mine. it doesn't reflect other guys thoughts.
Speakth at... 11:56 PM
+ ernest tan
+ singaporean
+ gemini
+ rat
+ attached and in love
+ university student
+ biathlete cum waterboy
+ sporty
+ fun loving
+ exercise freak
+ friendly
+ impatient
+ Christian
+ water polo
+ swimming
+ running
+ chatting with friends
+ eating good food
+Road Bike
+Harry Potter 7th Book
+Aasics Gel kayano shoes x3