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Saturday, May 26, 2007
results are out. can't say i am terribly disappointed in them, because this is the first time i've not gotten a single grade below a B, and it is my all time best semester. but i still feel a lil injustice. din do as well as i hoped. i mean i expected to get like a minimum A- for my methods module, but i got a B+ instead. i thought i'd get an A- minimum coz i got an A+ for my mid term paper. sigh. oh well. can't expect much now can i?
but i am still quite far away from the grade that allows me to get a second lower class honors. now i will just need to rely on God's strength to do it. i will do it, i will make it. i know i can. so i have to. sigh. hope this will be the start of ever increasing grades for the rest of my time remaining in NUS.
p.s. aarthi, i owe u a meal =( get back to me when u read this post
Speakth at... 1:50 PM
Friday, May 25, 2007
tmr will be the official release of my results. somehow, i dun feel as anxious as i was the past couple of exams. probably coz this time, i am resigned to it already. the results will be the fruits of my labor. i did do my utmost best at it. what will be will be. of coz i am hoping that i will get good grades, that will allow me to stay on and do my honors. but if i can't then i'll juz move on to MOE after that. or maybe stay on at HA. i dunno. depends. see which path opens up doors for me first.
would like to say this to those who have asked before. i am not attached. i do not have a gf. but i have found someone whom i can really connect with. someone who shares similar interests, and thinks somewhat like me. we do like each other, but we aren't gonna rush into things. we are gonna wait till God gives us his stamp of approval, and say the big OK. i do believe she is my soulmate, but that is for us to work out. but until then, i am just gonna enjoy myself getting to know her better.
my work week for the month has officially ended. funny how when i started work, i REALLY wanted to go all out. but as time passed, i started to lose my drive for it. but thankfully, towards the last few days, i began to get my act together. began to enjoy wat i was doing, and began to feel that this IS my calling. kids, youths, students, friends. i dunno how long i will be in this line. Daddy's calling probably is for me to be a youth pastor of some sort. i dunno. but i noe watever it is, i hope not to falter on either side of the road.
it has been a pretty relaxing day today. got up late, watched naruto, harold and kumar goes to white castle, some anime called overdrive, played a lil frozen throne, lent shimo my backpack bag so she can (hopefully) get some stuff for me from vietnam. haha.... i do hope she enjoys herself. i bet it will be sweet coz it is vietnam. i hope she'll bring back many stories of the sad plights of ppl there, and how God is helping them, either through Christian or non-Christian work. sigh... thinkin abt it makes me wanna go overseas to one of those third world country... but Ernest needs money... sigh...
ok, my randomness ends here. tmr i'll either be a happy man or one really sad man. await my post!
Speakth at... 5:00 PM
Sunday, May 20, 2007
a decision has been made. during the process, turmoil, sadness, a lot of angsty pondering, and in the midst of it all, there was strangely a sense of peace. i guess the sense of peace stood out the most because it was a strange feeling. i mean negative thoughts flowed through the head, but at the core of it, it felt really good. i guess this is what happens when the decision was made to put our Father in the center of it all. to listen, to follow, to obey. John 15 was a verse that spoke volumes about what i felt we should be doing. was a wine apart of Daddy. now, i want to be a part of Daddy. funny how one space makes a world of a difference.
all i can ask is that God will grant me strength, and never forsake me. may i never not be able to feel His presence, and that He will continue telling me the things i do is wrong, and tell me not to do it. I pray i will have the strength to fight the demons placed in my life, and that i will use Daddy's sword of fire to vanquish them. though everytime i kill one, another will come back, but as long as the sword is in my hands, mind and mouth, i can win the war.
can't believe xiaolin left for xiamen already. gosh, it seems the whole world is leaving. sigh, i can't say i like globalization since it is taking ppl who matter away from me. but ultimately, i too will be leaving Singapore, to place myself in another part of God's wonderful world. but thanks that the person whom i have decided to give my heart to also wants to have a life outside of Singapore. makes things a whole lot easier. seems like this is the point in my life that i'll be making decisions that will impact my life significantly. hope that God will be in the center of it all.
on my other fav issue on my work, i am starting to get the groove back for it. slowly enjoying meeting students, talking with them, knowing them better, playing with them and just finding out what makes them tick. my only grouse, i haven't gotten my camera phone yet so i can take pics with them for memory sake. sigh. the phone i want is SOOOO expensive. over $500 bucks. hope some kind soul will drop one into my hands. i'll be eternally grateful. i guess i will not continue with this job after my education. i have another calling. something only God knows. he hasn't told me fully what it is. but my training so far, in terms of spirit, in terms of work, in terms of my gift for reaching out to kids, it is for a greater plan. i dunno wat it is. but it is definitely veered towards that area.
anyway, 6 more days before the release of my results. i do hope i'll do well. i really have to do well... if not, there goes all hopes for me to do honors. sigh. i hate to be controlled by my grades, but that is a reality i have to live with. sigh.
Speakth at... 9:35 PM
Saturday, May 19, 2007
was a lil overworked this week. even to the extent where i fell sick on thur, and had to last through a class feeling like crap throughout the entire session. what made it worst was the fact that the class i took was extremely problematic, because their attitude, together with their class unity was seriously in shambles. i do hope they can get their act together soon and come together. i mean, it is seriously saddening to know that everyone is so individualistic, and not interested in helping the class first. fights nearly broke out, swearing occurred all the way. these are just some things that took place during my work. sigh. at least fri's session was more controlled. i did not need to release my evil twin brother out in order to discipline them. i juz needed to act fierce so that they had a feel of how 'he' was like. it was quite funny though. they actually looked scared when i turned on evil mode. haha. maybe i should try that out with my more problematic classes in future.
right now, i ask for the strength and courage to do what my heart tells me is right. to do what i feel i should do, and not allow rational logic to take over. sometimes, it is so difficult to balance between allowing the brain to think rationally, and the heart to feel emotionally. both are right, yet which one is more 'correct'? that is something i don't know. but i do noe God is right ALL the time. so tell me what to do Dad. pls.
Speakth at... 12:39 AM
Monday, May 14, 2007
isabella... or alessandra (now i am torn between the two names) is currently out of my life. i feel so empty, so handicapped, so lost without her. sigh... i wonder when will she return to my side. my dear laptop, please get well soon. u have no idea how much i am suffering without u. i miss ur touch, i miss ur buttons, and i miss pushing and typing away. but what i miss most about u, is the fact that u are MUCH faster then my brother's LOUSY laptop. it sucks!! urgh!
anyway, today was a REALLY tiring day. GOD HELP ME! sigh.... 6 hours of training students in exam skills which they have absolutely no interest in. they were SO ROWDY, that this is the FIRST TIME i ever lost my temper 3 TIMES! urgh! but i dun really blame them for being so distracted. i mean it IS after the exams. they do deserve their break anyhow.
and sorry that i haven't been blogging. its not that i dun wanna blog. but i juz din wanna blog with a DAMN SLOW laptop. i.e. my bro's lappy. thankfully i reformatted it so it is more decent now. but nothing compared to my beloved. i really am wondering when will i see her.... sigh... miss her like CRAZY!!!
decisions are made already. i noe where i wanna go from now till i am 30. as long as things go according to plan, it shld be good. God shall shine the light, and i will walk the path. i juz hope for it to work. but for now, thanks Daddy, for giving me what i need most. =) AMEN!
Speakth at... 9:17 PM
Sunday, May 06, 2007
nothing really exciting happened today. juz that i wish i was someplace else rather then my home. i wish i was at that spot. and i wish time would juz fly by.
and i can't wait for 2015. nw that dutt proposed a europe trip with us and our significant others then. =) i think that's a sweet idea.
Speakth at... 10:29 PM
Thursday, May 03, 2007
this is really cool. i am in nyp blogging next to peiwen. he is currently mulling over his project, whereas lucky me am done with exams. yay! haha. i'll b reading up and revising on my japanese language so that i will still be able to keep up when i take up japanese language again. hope i will be able to ace my japanese language. and hopeufully fly to japan. get into the culture, eat the great food, and more importantly, enjoy nature as much as possible since there is more nature over there as compared to here. and it is my secret wish to see Hard Gay there... UFOOOOOOOOO!!! wahaha.
went clubbing yesterday. it wasn't a total bore, but it wasn't as fun as i anticipated because first of all, the music at phuture has really dropped loads since the last time i went there. it was so bad, i stood still for 75% of the time. i dun mean that the music was TOTALLY to blame for it. the crowd yesterday was juz terrible. no space to dance, and it din help that this girl..... my goodness, she kept rubbing her back on me, and kept pushing me forward. luckily i was strong enough to withstand her pushings. otherwise i would have fallen onto Jenn/Jerry/Jacq/Janice.... funny, now then i realize that the ppl i went out with yesterday all have names starting with J. hah! something boliao...
but probably the most exciting thing took place today. was taking a bus from home to meet peiwen and rachel in nyp. took 852 and en route, God had a surprise in stall for me. one guy came down with fits. this is the absolute FIRST time that i've experienced such a thing, and i was stunned for a bit. his entire body was spasming, his eyes were wide in shock, his mouth was clenched tight and i was afraid for him. i went straight down and attempted to pry open his mouth for fear that he would be biting his tongue. but then someone gave me a key and asked me to use it to pry his mouth open. at that moment, i thought to mysself, how stupid that was because i was afraid i'd chip his teeth. so i continued using my hands. thankfully his facial muscles relaxed and i managed to get his mouth to be opened. but his muscles started to get even tighter. thus, myself with two other guys carried him to the open space where people stood on the bus and started to relax him down, prying his fingers open and massaging him. i do not know whether wat i did was right, and it would not result in anything bad to occur in him, but at least i know nothing bad overcame him. thankfully he was convinced to go to the hospital for check up although initially he was really reluctant about it. i do hope nothing bad happens to him. awi, one of the guys who helped out said that there was a bolt of lightning when his fits took over. i dunno if there was a link to this. hope that the medical ppl at the hospital can diagnose him properly.
well, i also hope that the bus driver would not come under much fire, and that he will be able to get back to the normal routine of work. i juz hope that he would't come under much fire for what happened bcoz i do not think that it was h is fault. if i have to testify on his behalf, i would.
so thanks Daddy, for first of all pre-empting rachel that i would be late. and that pee and her can meet too. thanks for also allowing me to meet ang kiat in sch today though it was very brief. thank you also for giving me the opportunity to experience such an event. i dun think i will forget it. ever. although u could have chosen a better time to wake me up from my dreamy stupor, but i know that your timing is always the best. so thank you.
Speakth at... 2:31 PM
+ ernest tan
+ singaporean
+ gemini
+ rat
+ attached and in love
+ university student
+ biathlete cum waterboy
+ sporty
+ fun loving
+ exercise freak
+ friendly
+ impatient
+ Christian
+ water polo
+ swimming
+ running
+ chatting with friends
+ eating good food
+Road Bike
+Harry Potter 7th Book
+Aasics Gel kayano shoes x3