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Tuesday, June 26, 2007
time sure flew past. my holidays have recently past the halfway mark, and sch term is starting. am sorta looking forward to it. new semester, new ppl to meet, new modules to quench my thirst for knowledge, new project mates(hope they will continue being great) and new lecturers. i used to dread sch because i never did do well in them, and the results would discourage me from wanting to study. but i realized that results does not prove how much my worth is, rather it is how much i absorbed and think that really matters. i also realized that personal opinions, critical thinking is what is required for a university level paper, and thankfully i have slowly but surely developed a critical eye to almost every aspect of my life.
juz got back frm hong kong, and only one word describes my trip. it was dreadful. it wasn't the company i went with (they are my dad and brother, though from time to time, they did test my patience in being at loggerheads at each other) but rather it was the lack of natural greenery that made it sucky (sorry, but new zealand sorta spoilt my taste in nature) everywhere i went, it was urban landscape after urban landscape. furthermore, the only scenic place we went to was the peak, and that in itself wasn't very awesome because the picturesque view was spoilt by all the sundals and pukis there who made so much noise. wish they would juz shut up and watch the view in peace. it was times like those that i wanted to do a BANKAI! sigh. too bad, i am not a shinigami.
but one thing i really admire about them. it was the this trait about the hong kongers in that while traveling on an escalator, they would always keep to the right unless they were in a hurry and walked their way up or down. this is something i noticed about EVERYONE there, and it is something i feel that we Singaporeans are seriously lacking in. however, one thing that is no different btw us. at the train entrance, ppl would juz crowd at the entrance, and no one would allow the alighting passengers room to alight. this is something i find intolerable. i mean for pete's sake, give the alighting passengers their 5s to alight, after which you are free to rush for the empty seats ur poor sorry ass legs need. better this way than all shoving and pushing to get their way in or out. in this aspect, i'll say "Dumb-ass Singaporeans and Hong Kongers alike",
but the trip gave me a lot of time to think of research topics to write about should i attempt this particular sociology module. that is provided it is offered the coming sem. and hope it is a level 3 module. otherwise, there is no point at all. or maybe i can attempt it for my thesis (i am gearing up to do a thesis as long as my grades allow me. i have only 2 more sems left till i can officially decide to do it or not)
anyway, on a lighter note, was a really good time i had with the students from kranji sec sch yesterday. it was great for me to show them that if someone as dumb and who isn't academically inclined is able to make it to the university, than all the more they are able to do it. i hope that my little talk with them gave them the confidence they needed to finish the final lap towards their O's. it was also great sharing with them how God changed my life. how i was an arse back than in sch, but due to many circumstances, and how i believe that God placed me in SAJC, i turned out to be the man i am today. not perfect, still very imperfect, still human, but better nonetheless. i hope those i've touched have also come to realize that all that matters is their effort in making good their work. as long as they tried their best, anything is possible.
shall end off on this funny note. met up with Maggie today to continue my vocal training sessions where i picked up where i left off so that i can better serve the Church in the Worship Ministry. when we ended off this was wat took place
Magg: "Can you close us in prayer" i heard can i close us in prayer?
Ernest: "Yes you may" she heard okay
both of us heads bowed and silence for the next 30s, after which we both burst out laughing at our deafness and our inability to speak properly
haha, think we both need a pair of workable ears and mouths that work properly
Speakth at... 8:38 PM
Monday, June 18, 2007
this shall be the last time i blog here..... till i return from Hong Kong. =D i will be off from the 19th (tmr) till the 23rd. will be there with the old man and the brat of a brother =S hope all things will go well. to be honest, i am nt happy going coz we are gonna spend money on buying clothes and other stuff. sigh. more money out..... oh well, at least it will be a break from the drudgery of life here in fast paced Singapore. shall take it as a well deserved break, and a treat for doing pretty well for my exams last sem. after that, it will be wham bam back to work at HATC =S
i hope i will be able to better prioritize what is necessary in my life when things get so important. that i will have the right mindset to separate the more important things from the less important. i hope to find the time to spend with people that matters, as they are slowly dwindling down, with more ppl going to leave sch after the coming sem and ppl flying off. to have time spent with my dear Father everyday so as to not forget what He has laid out for me in my life. and to most importantly never forsake the ones who gave me life, though at times they can get a lil trying too, acting like kids and making me into the father. sigh. i do hate adulthood to a large extent
the constant worry for money, the constant worry abt the next meal, the constant worry that ppl's opinions matter, the constant worry to meet expectations, just worry. i worry about the future, i worry abt the past, i worry abt the present. how do i follow the words of my savior? to not worry? Matt 6: 25-34 and Luke 12:22-31
look on Him who has gone through everything but conquered and is without sin. look on Him who has lived, died and rose again. He lives in me and those who accepts Him. oh it is so hard. a life with Him is so difficult to live, to walk. yet i find great joy in doing so. because he has paved the way. all i need to do is follow. easy as it may be, difficult to do.
empower me not to commit the same mistakes again. empower me to have u in me. empower me to live out ur life so that others see YOU in me and not me. humble me, break me, destroy me. and rebuild me as u deem fit.
also pray that our flight will be safe, and that our time there be a fruitful one.
Speakth at... 2:55 PM
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
surprises comes in two forms. one that really shocks and leaves a bitter aftertaste, the other leaves a sweet tingling sensation during and after it happens. i must say i have the fortune to experience the latter becoz i was VERY pleasantly surprised yesterday. but, before i go there, something sad. my dad, of all people was shocked that my birthday was last thur. sigh..... dunno wat's up with him man... =( well, he better make it up somehow or other or else.... wahahaha
as for the pleasant surprise, it came from friends who do not have any decency to tell me wat was happening (but i guess it thats the whole purpose eh?), and when i was at the dinner table, then i realized what happened. this was the day's program. i went over to rachel's place to have a day of exercise and sports, coupled with lunch and watched a tear-jerking movie "The Notebook" (that is really very good coz of the nice storyline. you gotta watch it to understand how nice the movie is. i dun wanna spoil the plot. but it juz made me cry like a baby) then came dinner where we went to this mexican restaurant called margherita's (pardon me for the bad spelling and the restaurant incidentally serves really good margheritas, i regretted driving down otherwise i'd have had a glass of it). up to the restaurant, i had no idea that kunal, peiwen and leanna were gonna join us for the dinner. i expected a quiet dinner, but ended up having a really loud and cheery dinner. totally enjoyed the food, the people, the experience. sadly the more i enjoyed it, the sadder i got. coz it hit me that in time to come, people will leave, people will come back, and the experience would be different. not necessarily worst, but just different. guess times do change. am not looking forward to it, but i do not have the power to change it.
anyway, i am so looking forward to the Connect Retreat coming up next month. i'm hoping it'll be a blast coz of the people, the activities and the place where the retreat is held at. sure am hoping that people will go for it, not only the people who are already in Connect, but also the people in the age group who aren't in Connect but would like to find a place where we can burn ever more strongly for Christ as a ministry in SJC. and i do hope that the Retreat will meet its' objectives, i.e. juz to have people having a laugh together and enjoying each others' company.
ok. thats all for now. got loads of things planned out that i have to do. dinner this sat, a manual orientation drive with the boys, dutt's dinner get together, hong kong trip next week (19th to 23rd). so many things to do... so little time. sigh
Speakth at... 6:58 PM
Sunday, June 10, 2007
i haven't added any entry for a long time. guess i was too busy just doing things that i sorely missed while busy with church stuff or work or study. sorry to those who have visited my blog in anticipation for something new to read. well, hope this will be an answer to you, to let you know that i am still alive. =D
recently, i have been feeling possibly the suckiest feeling in the whole wide world. i am feeling dry, but strangely enough, i am not exactly thirsty. for those of you who think i am talking about the physical aspect. it is not. i am talking about my spiritual aspect. i think it is easy to quench the physical and mental thirst. but the spiritual one is the hardest of them all to quench. this is not the first time i felt it, but i do not want it to carry on. i feel outta touch with myself, outta touch with God. i feel it is the best to be dry yet thirsty. it sucks. it really does. sigh.. i wanna thirst. i wanna drink. but how do i drink when i dun thirst? the insides are drying up. a drought is on. what to do? what to think? what to feel?
but i have many things to be thankful for. on one note, my family, though they are no where near where Christ as i hoped for them to be, at least they are in a generally happy mood. today we had a good day just laughing at each other's stupidity. and might i mention something embarrassing that happened to my brother. his basketball shorts fell in the kitchen yesterday while he was taking soup, and it happened in front my my uncle's maid... it seriously was very embarrassing. luckily we are very close to her, otherwise i dunno what to think might happen. funny thing is my two little cousins tried their best to make his shorts drop again but to no success. so cheeky those two little gals. heh.
am also thankful that my sis, serene is discharged from the hospital after her appendicitis op on fri. thank God nothing bad happened to her. i do not know what it is, i do not know how bad it is, all i know is that it caused her an incredible amount of pain. i do hope she'll recover from it totally and get her life back. can't wait to meet up with her for our birthday meet up. the both of us owe each other hugs.
am also thankful that i have wonderful friends who although weren't able to spend my 23rd birthday with me, but sent me smses or calls to wish me. i am not big on the birthday thing, but it is great to have ppl rmb it.
am also thankful for the fact that there is someone who has recently entered my life. making it seem so wonderful and loud at the same time. i can't say how much of a blessing it has been, yet it juz seems so right. in time to come i hope to juz shout out to the whole world, and sing that song of joy.
next week, will be meeting leanna to have some botak burgers. they say the amk is pretty darn good, and if it is, i bet i'll have an orgasm coz the ones in clementi were great already. haha, can't wait for that day too coz we'll be going to a place i enjoyed when i went there the other time, essential brew. we shld have a swell day juz catching up since its been a long time since we gone out.
i decided i shall not blog too much. i shld nt overload on my first post in a long time. heh. laterz
Speakth at... 11:12 PM
+ ernest tan
+ singaporean
+ gemini
+ rat
+ attached and in love
+ university student
+ biathlete cum waterboy
+ sporty
+ fun loving
+ exercise freak
+ friendly
+ impatient
+ Christian
+ water polo
+ swimming
+ running
+ chatting with friends
+ eating good food
+Road Bike
+Harry Potter 7th Book
+Aasics Gel kayano shoes x3